Even though publicly we seem to embrace imperfection these days, in some areas of our lives we also strive for perfection. But what is perfection? Is there even such a thing and can we define it? One area where I don’t believe it belongs is in relationships and it shouldn’t even be our aim. Being a Sexologist, many people think that I would have the perfect relationships but I am not perfect and I’m happy to declare that. I’m not perfect and neither are you and that’s completely ok.
In 2020, two common things happened to relationships. Either people spent more time at home working on them or realised during this time at home that things were not working out. In my personal life, I supported many friends through breakups and divorces. And in doing this, it also taught me an important bit of relationship advice… to make sure you speak up and have a voice.
Valentine’s day is one of those days I feel can set us up for disappointment. Some people feel down because they are single (but being single can be the best fun). Others can feel let down by what they partner might not have done. But there are some ways to really enjoy Valentine’s Day and maybe even give it a new meaning.
I’m asked all the time what I think the biggest things people do wrong in relationships are. I often don’t like limiting people to a wrong and a right as we are all different and so are our relationships. But there is one thing I have come across that can be damaging… expectations. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t expect certain things of our partner, but often this idea of expectations goes too far and people are left looking at their relationship against a comparison of false reality. They might also have an expectation that they have no idea where it first came from or even what purpose it serves.