Apr
26

2019
Are you dating a guy from Bachelor In Paradise?

My latest obsession is Bachelor in Paradise. It’s like watching real life Tinder play out with the backdrop of Fiji. But besides the drama, chaos, love triangles, squares and every other shape, it’s the representations of men that has me intrigued. Glued this week, I realised there are three main types of men represented on this show. And I’ve dated them all! The Bills, Jules and Ivans of this world. But for the poor girls in paradise, being maybe a bit younger and naïve, they might not be able to see what I see (and what I have learnt). But that doesn’t stop me from sharing it with the rest of you.  (Please note, this is not meant to be disrespectful towards these men, but this is more about how to navigated the obstacles when dating them). Lets start with Bill… If you have not been watching, Bill is the…

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Apr
19

2019
A letter to my virgin self

Nikki, I know right now sex seems like such a huge deal, but one day it will be a part of your everyday life. But it isn’t going to always be pretty and it isn’t going to always be how you imagined it would be. But sex isn’t perfect and you will learn that.  Don’t fret if your first time also isn’t perfect. Most people do not get that roses and candles experiences you once saw on Dawson Creek and decided was the ideal. It’s ok and it’s not the end of the world, although it might feel like it at the time. I know you will want to find the right and perfect moment, but there just might not be such a thing. The most important thing is to trust your gut and protect yourself physically and emotionally. Although I’m sorry to tell you, but protecting yourself emotionally might not…

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Apr
05

2019
Are you responsible for where you are in your relationship right now?

Where you are in your relationship or even relationship status right now is your responsibility. It might sound harsh, but if you can accept that then you can move forward with life and love and have a better chance at actually finding and creating what you want. In relationships, incidences and issues are never isolated one off events, even though sometimes they feel like it and can feel like it’s all the responsibility of someone else. He is being selfish and not spending time with me, she is nagging me all the time, he cheated etc. But every action has a reaction and being with someone means we continue to respond and react to them. Nothing is ever isolated to just one event. A good and controversial example of this is infidelity. When I hear of people cheating, I often wonder what their relationship was really like. This is not…

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Mar
22

2019
Are negative thoughts destroying your relationship?

It saddens me that as I write this, I feel like there is so much hatred around. And I suppose these days we are exposed to so much more thanks the way we consume media, which feels like it’s non-stop and all around us. I have begun to see this parallel though and I’m conflicted about it. We are a society that is constantly talking about trolls online and bullying, but we are the same society that aggressively and public condemns anyone that expresses their opinion that might not be in line with the majority, might be a bit controversial or offends someone.  We are telling people online not to hate on someone’s post or photo and to refrain from online bullying, yet so many of us seem to partake in some form of bullying ourselves. Someone speaks out or has a public opinion and then there is a petition…

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