Jul
22

2019
How To Tell If Polyamorous Relationships Are Right For You | ASK DR NIKKI

“My best friend is asking me to have sex with her husband. She is on medication and has a non-existent sex drive. I am single. We do a lot of family stuff together since our kids are the same age. She even sends me articles about polyamory. Any advice would be helpful.”   The part of this situation that I wish I knew is how do you feel about it. Now, this might sound a bit odd to some people. This might even sound a bit odd to you Sally, but don’t ever judge somebody for what their sexual desires are. We all have a unique and different way of constructing a relationship. I would nearly say this is flattering that obviously, there is enough trust there which is recognized. If she doesn’t have a sex drive towards her partner anymore and her partner still desires sex, then maybe being…

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Jun
03

2019
How to Stop Being Insecure In A Relationship | ASK DR NIKKI

“Hi Dr Nikki. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and this is my first serious relationship. He is an amazing guy and he treats me so well. We both go to the same college but we have different majors. He’s a civil engineering major and I’m biology major. He is friends with a girl who is in his classes and he studies with her and has projects to do with her. I always thought that she had a thing for him but perhaps this is because I think most girls do and I will admit that I’m not the most secure person. She has a boyfriend for three years, I recently found out. They’re currently in a long-distance relationship so they go to different colleges. But, how do I get rid of this uncomfortable insecure feeling whenever he mentions her or is with her. Is…

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May
31

2019
These 5 words could be impacting your thoughts on sex

I don’t know if it’s a sexologist thing or just something I get hung up on, but I have become one of those people who analyse the language we use. I believe that we can change the way we and others view certain topics by changing the language we use surrounding them. When it comes to sex, there are many words that can be seen as not sex positive or even confusing. Let’s even take the word sex for example. We use it a lot, but it’s a word we can’t even define. What is sex? Is it penis in a vagina or is it fingers in a vagina or a penis in an anus? There are multiple different meanings for one word, and universally we cannot even agree on what it is. Here are a few others that I feel could be describing the act negatively or even posing…

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May
29

2019
Can You Ever Overcome Infidelity in a Relationship? | ASK DR NIKKI

“Hi Dr Nikki. I’m a 40-year-old man, married for 13 years. We have a kid and I found my wife is cheating on me again. I discovered her four years ago having an affair. I forgave her and we worked together to rebuild our relationship but now I’ve realized that she is doing the same thing. I don’t really want to keep going with this. Is it better to finish? I don’t love her the same.”   When it comes to rebuilding a relationship after infidelity, it’s a very complex matter and I feel that as a society, we quickly demonize somebody for doing it when we want to help the other person move on. We say things like “that person disrespected you”, “they have broken your trust”. And whilst that might be true, the biggest thing with infidelity is asking why. That might start to give us insight into…

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