May
02

2018
How Being A Sexologist Has Changed My Love Life

(Originally posted on Body and Soul) The one thing they don’t warn you when you sign up to study Sexology is how it will change your personal, sexual and love life. Besides a few new moves and super bedroom skills, I never stopped to think it would. When I began this journey, I considered myself open minded. I owned a vibrator so I thought I knew what this was all about. What I found was the beliefs I held around love, sex and relationships were not my own, but a result of the environment I had grown up in and the society that surrounded me. These had never been challenged or tested and I accepted them because they were the “norm”. To explore what you want out of love and life when you are told there is no such thing as normal (as we are taught studying Sexology and continue…

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May
01

2018
Ask Dr Nikki – In a relationship and addicted to dating apps

Hi Dr Nikki, I’m interested to hear your thoughts on addiction to dating sites? My partner of a few years just can’t seem to stay off them! He’s never met anyone or physically had an affair whilst we have been together, but seems unable to stay off them. He can’t even explain why he does it as we have a generally happy relationship and a great sex life. He was on and off these sites and actively dating on them for 5 years before we met, but never managed more than 3 months with any one person. We met online and I’m the longest relationship he has had (2 years). I feel like maybe he’s either waiting for it to end because that seems to be his experience with online dating or he’s just addicted to the thrill of the new. On the plus side, he is now seeking help…

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Apr
26

2018
Ask Dr Nikki – Trouble Having Orgasms

Dear Dr Nikki, What’s your advice for women having trouble coming to an orgasm? Is it necessary for their male counterpart to be huge in size? Are there multiple ways a girl can orgasm if having trouble achieving with straight intercourse? Xxx Stephanie   Dear Stephanie, It is a normal thing for women to struggle to achieve orgasm and I feel like we don’t talk about it enough. There is also so much pressure on women these days to have an orgasm during sex as though it’s the defining factor to a successful sex life, which I don’t believe to be the case. We need to be defining good sex as feelings and emotions and not just on the basis of an orgasm occurring. But it is nice to be able to experience one. It isn’t necessary at all for a male partner to be big in size for a…

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Apr
25

2018
Find the Gift

Recently I met someone who was telling me a story about a friend whose daughter recently had a baby and was then killed in a tragic car accident whilst living overseas. After this, they had a breakdown and sought help where a therapist starting asking them – but where is the gift? Have you been over to see your granddaughter? She pointed out that even though this loss was tragic, he was able to spend so many years with his daughter when many do not and now she had given him a granddaughter. Two days later he was a plane to see the baby. When I look around, it seems that we have become a society that is only able to focus on what didn’t go right instead of what did. We focus so much on the negatives that any positives can’t be seen. Maybe we have social media to…

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