I’ve just broken up with this guy and feeling down about being single again. My friends are telling me to be positive but I’m struggling. It’s not so much that I’m missing him more that I’m not feeling great about being single again. How do I shift my mind?
It can be normal to feel this way when breaking up with someone but give yourself some credit. You could have been one of those people that stays in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. We all like to feel needed and wanted but being single is also not the end of the world.
Think about all the things that you couldn’t do when you were with your partner. Or make a list of future things you think you can’t do when in a relationship. These might be really small things like hog the bed, have your apartment messy, watch TV whilst drinking wine out of the bottle, have a girl’s night without anyone to answer to and even a casual hook-up with some random or person you just met. These might have been things you are done and ready to move on from or things you have never tried. But attempt to make a list of things that you might want to do that you won’t be able to one day. And start doing them! It’s important in order to feel positive about being single right now to actually enjoy your single life.
Know that one day you will look back on these times from relationship land and not only appreciate your single years but also miss them. As lonely as it might sometimes feel, there might also be other more pain staking issues in a relationship that you have to overcome. Your single years could be limited so enjoy them while you can.
There is also another way to look at this. Being single means you have the opportunity to meet someone that is right for you. If your last relationship was not working, sticking with that person would have seen your chances at meeting someone who was right greatly diminished (and possibly immoral to do so whilst still in a relationship). When you are single the exciting thing is you don’t know who will come into your life but there is also the room and possibility for them to do so.
Try to not only appreciate the single time you have not but look forward to a future that might be.