May
09

2013

Mother's Day Causes Infidelity

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Mother's Day Causes Infidelity

It’s coming up to that one day of the year where we praise the women that created us and bring out the roses, chocolates and breakfasts in bed. But apparently this day could bring out something else – infidelity?

 

A recent study by cheating website AshleyMaddison.com revelled that they see the highest spike in female sign ups on the day after Mother’s day. I would be typically hesitate to quote stats by a website that’s slogan is, “life’s short have an affair,” but there is something to be said when in 2012 the site saw a 439% increase on day after Mother’s Day as compared to a normal day.

 

What is is about Mother’s Day that sends women into the arms of another person? ( And maybe it’s time for husbands to rethink their standard bathrobe or card).

 

“Mother’s Day tends to magnify the flaws, leads to questions about the choices you have made, and ultimately fosters conclusions around doing something different for yourself,” explains Ashley Madison founder and CEO Noel Biderman.

 

But I don’t entirely agree this is the reason for Mummies to go out and “play” ( I actually blame it on Target, Kmart and Morning TV with those terrible adds about PJ’s for Mum’s on Mother’s day cause that’s right, that’s all they want in life).

 

If this stats is to be 100% valid, maybe it has more to do with the goals we put on motherhood . As women, we grow up and are fed the messages that a major goal in life is to find prince charming, get married and have a baby so we can be happy and fulfilled. As the years go on we are also taught we can have a career and a life for ourselves, but that prince charming/family fantasy still seems to be the glue to happiness that is emphasised not only from  our families and culture but media too. ( Maybe it’s also about time we reassess the messages we are feeding to young women through the avenues of TV, mags and radio?)

 

 

Not for one moment I am trying to tell you that family and becoming a mother is not everything it should be, but I am trying to tell you that once you get there, that anticipation to be eventually “happy” might not be exactly there or everything you were told it would be. I come from a somewhat traditional family and do want to be a wife and mother one day, but it’s not all I want and I don’t see it as the ending of my fairytale, just another chapter in my book. Life is about the journey and not just about an end goal. It’s about finding the partner, having fun whilst doing it, maybe even having fun being single and exploring the wonders and mysteries of getting pregnant  and being parents no matter what that might look like. It’s dangerous  when we put the pressure on that end goal that could leave us disappointed, wanting for more and questioning the choices we have made.  Family can make you the most fulfilled and happy person but for some it might only be one piece of the puzzle, not the icing on the cake.

 

I can’t say exactly that this is why women cheat the day after Mother’s Day, but I can tell you that this might go through some of their minds. It might be a statement against a life that they feel has taken something away, it might be resentment for missing out on opportunities with other men, it might be that they are starved of affection or it just might be that they want more excitement, sex and fun. We can’t lump this group together with one explanation, after all women are more complex than that.

 

Instead of praising your Mother this day for being a Mum, praise her for being the amazing individual that she is. And husbands, partner and everyone else in a similar category, keep this stat is mind and maybe up your game in the bedroom on Mother’s Day too ( or discounted the Internet so she can’t log onto Ashley Madison).

 

Happy Mother’s Day

 

xoxox

 

Dr Nikki

 

PS: I love you Mum for the amazing women that you are and the for the person you have taught me to be.

 

 

 

 

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