Jan
25

2012

Sex Does Not Sell

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Sex Does Not Sell

Most people think sex sells. But in actual fact, it’s not sex, it’s words, things and actions that might imply that sex is involved.  The topic sometimes has to be implied without exactly being mentioned. I am experiencing that being a Sexologist can catch people’s attention. They want comments, articles, and answers, all to do with the topic of sex. But what intrigues me most is that even though my profession is accepted in the wider community, the word SEX sometimes is still not. Why do we fear those 3 letters? A lot of us are doing it, many of us think about it, it’s how we all got here, so why can’t we all say it?

 

Growing up many children and teens are taught words to replace the word sex. Special cuddles, nookie, root, doing it, going all the way, getting busy, the horizontal dance, making love, getting lucky, getting laid, doing the nasty (which makes my blood boil, what is so nasty about sex?), bonking, shagging, screwing and many more. By telling children and teens that we need to replace this word because it might be too rude to say  in public or not appropriate to mention, starts sending the message that there just might be something wrong with sex. Because around me this word gets mentioned a lot , I tend to notice that when people start to utter the  word “sex” their voice lowers just a bit as though they don’t want anyone else to hear or they pause before they actually say it. No matter what age, some people are still afraid of others hearing them say the word sex. Scream it from the roof top! Sex!!!!! (I promise angels won’t fall from the sky!)

 

Sometimes I get asked not to be too graphic when answering sex questions on radio, are asked not to say penis and vagina on TV, are told to eliminate the word sex from a recording about sex, and asked to be called a relationship specialist instead of a Sexologist. I even get paranoid sometimes about what I am saying live on air in case I utter something that makes people uncomfortable. When you are talking to a large main stream audience, you can never please everyone, but you try.

 

I am not having a dig at any of the people I work with, but simply am trying to prove a point at how crazy  the world can be. We can have a Sexologist working in the media but the word sex, sometimes is out of the question. Maybe this is also why I extended my title and use Relationship Expert as well. When people don’t want to talk about sex, relationships are the next best thing (and what do most of us do in relationships………)

 

This just shows me I have a lot more work ahead to make people feel more comfortable with sex, with hearing it, talking about it and even having it. It’s not a bad word, one that has many meanings, and something we should not be afraid to hear about it. After all you are not the ones who have to talk publically about something that has the potential to make so many people uncomfortable and embarrassed, I am!

 

I’m not asking those I work with to push the boundaries beyond where they are comfortable. I’m asking everyone just to be a bit more understanding of the word and even the subject, sex! We all have a right not to be exposed to sexual content, but we also have a right to access it. If you are hearing something you are not comfortable with, simply tune out for a while. We all have a choice but the content should at least be there for us to choose from.

 

Practice makes perfect. Talk about it enough, say the word enough and eventually it might just become normal ( or you might just be able to say it outloud!)

 

Happy Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex,

 

Dr NikkiG

 

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