Nov
11

2011

Shall We date?

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Shall We date?

Today’s segment on Sunrise was about dating do’s and dont’s. Let’s face it, the dating world is a mind field for Miss Manners. Fresh encounters with a new love interest can be a recipe for etiquette disaster, with each person closely monitoring the others every move.

There is no such thing as what is right or wrong, but a common value that has been passed down through the ages. We all have a unique perception of the other person in our company. (Especially if you are Alan Pease and can read people via their body language).

I will be honest, I hate the word dating! For someone who is somewhat traditional, I find the word to be outdated, misused and fraught with pressure and stress to perform or show our better side and potential false self. I’m not against the act of dating but
only wish we could give it a name that had less standards and rules attached. I enjoy getting to know people with the potential for it to go further, but in the context of a date it becomes a different situation and I feel as though I am forced to judge, choose and analyse.

My close friend recently stopped dating a guy and then met him again for a casual coffee, relaxed and with no pressure,
just as friends. They kicked themselves because they realised that they had not been their true selves whilst dating and in turn had caused this new relationship to end. Both were worried about the perception of the other person whilst playing the dating game.

I know this is not the case with everyone. But the word dating carries so much pressure for us to perform. It puts our situation in a particular context, bound by rules, social standards and etiquette. Should he pay? Should you drink? And do you owe him a kiss? We
need to stop focusing on what the date should appear and how we should be acting and get to know the person sitting in front of us .If that happens to be during a romantic dinner fine, but focus on the person in front of you and not the context around you.

Dating or catching up as friends, going out for dinner or seeing a movie, call it what you want, just make sure the real you shines through!

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