Apr
09

2017

Sometimes my partner and I fight. I feel like it comes from this place or anger and frustration. Does this mean I’m unhappy in the relationship or that a future won’t work out?

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Sometimes my partner and I fight. I feel like it comes from this place or anger and frustration. Does this mean I’m unhappy in the relationship or that a future won’t work out?

It’s completely normal to have arguments with your partner. Sometimes it can be healthy for the relationship as it means you are secure enough to communicate what’s on your mind without fearing that someone will leave you because of your honesty. But you do need to work out the balance between general life stressors that might pop up from time to time and get the better of you and something deeper motivating these arguments.

Often when people argue with their partners, it’s not always about the thing they are arguing about but something deeper that hasn’t been addressed. Maybe one person feels taken for granted or feels left out or as though their partner might not be putting enough effort it. Something could have happened and hasn’t been resolved with someone holding on to anger around that. When you have surface arguments about smaller things, this could be stemming from a bigger issue that hasn’t been addressed. If these arguments are occurring too often and play out in a similar way, then it might be time to dig a little deeper into the relationships and into your own mind to discover what it is that is really going on.

Also, be mindful not to feel that you always have to control your moods. When you get angry or frustrated, listen to it. It’s popping up for a reason. Often woman get told during arguments that they are being too needy, too emotional or being silly about something. If you feel the physiological effects of anger and frustration, listen to your body and your mind. You might not be able to solve every issue that comes your way and every little argument, but when you do feel these emotions overcome you, take time to let them in and sit with it for a bit. You don’t need to straight away fly daggers at your partner, instead do a bit of self investigation as to why you feel a certain way and where it might be coming from before you make your move or open your mouth. It’s not so much a matter of controlling these emotions but allowing them to come out in a more productive way instead of destructive.

It’s natural and normal to have anger and frustration with your partner. But I’t important to resolve it so it doesn’t always continue in the same manner.

Everyone has their moments and no couple is perfect, but if there is something worth fighting for and someone worth being with, put in the effort to resolve whatever it is that is occurring without putting too much pressure on yourself that you relationships has to always be perfect.

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