Ask Dr. Nikki

Jul
22

2019
How To Tell If Polyamorous Relationships Are Right For You | ASK DR NIKKI

“My best friend is asking me to have sex with her husband. She is on medication and has a non-existent sex drive. I am single. We do a lot of family stuff together since our kids are the same age. She even sends me articles about polyamory. Any advice would be helpful.”   The part of this situation that I wish I knew is how do you feel about it. Now, this might sound a bit odd to some people. This might even sound a bit odd to you Sally, but don’t ever judge somebody for what their sexual desires are. We all have a unique and different way of constructing a relationship. I would nearly say this is flattering that obviously, there is enough trust there which is recognized. If she doesn’t have a sex drive towards her partner anymore and her partner still desires sex, then maybe being…

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Jun
03

2019
How to Stop Being Insecure In A Relationship | ASK DR NIKKI

“Hi Dr Nikki. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and this is my first serious relationship. He is an amazing guy and he treats me so well. We both go to the same college but we have different majors. He’s a civil engineering major and I’m biology major. He is friends with a girl who is in his classes and he studies with her and has projects to do with her. I always thought that she had a thing for him but perhaps this is because I think most girls do and I will admit that I’m not the most secure person. She has a boyfriend for three years, I recently found out. They’re currently in a long-distance relationship so they go to different colleges. But, how do I get rid of this uncomfortable insecure feeling whenever he mentions her or is with her. Is…

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Apr
26

2019
Are you dating a guy from Bachelor In Paradise?

My latest obsession is Bachelor in Paradise. It’s like watching real life Tinder play out with the backdrop of Fiji. But besides the drama, chaos, love triangles, squares and every other shape, it’s the representations of men that has me intrigued. Glued this week, I realised there are three main types of men represented on this show. And I’ve dated them all! The Bills, Jules and Ivans of this world. But for the poor girls in paradise, being maybe a bit younger and naïve, they might not be able to see what I see (and what I have learnt). But that doesn’t stop me from sharing it with the rest of you.  (Please note, this is not meant to be disrespectful towards these men, but this is more about how to navigated the obstacles when dating them). Lets start with Bill… If you have not been watching, Bill is the…

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Apr
19

2019
A letter to my virgin self

Nikki, I know right now sex seems like such a huge deal, but one day it will be a part of your everyday life. But it isn’t going to always be pretty and it isn’t going to always be how you imagined it would be. But sex isn’t perfect and you will learn that.  Don’t fret if your first time also isn’t perfect. Most people do not get that roses and candles experiences you once saw on Dawson Creek and decided was the ideal. It’s ok and it’s not the end of the world, although it might feel like it at the time. I know you will want to find the right and perfect moment, but there just might not be such a thing. The most important thing is to trust your gut and protect yourself physically and emotionally. Although I’m sorry to tell you, but protecting yourself emotionally might not…

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