couple fight

May
15

2018
Ask Dr Nikki – The Rules of Taking a Break

Dear Dr Nikki, My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we have hit some tough times. We are just arguing a lot and finding that living together is a bit of a struggle. After we spoke about it, we decided to take a break but also wanted to make some rules about what that break means. We have decided to not have any contact for two months, but I also feel that it will be so hard to do. What are your thoughts and rules on taking a break?   Thanks, Kara   Hi Kara, Taking a break can be a scary word as it does sound close to the words breaking up. In some sense it is nearly a trial breakup to see if you could live life without each other, but it can be a great way to get some space from the issues…

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May
07

2018
Why do we fight?

Do you ever wonder what it is exactly you are fighting over? When you are argy but deep down nothing make complete sense? This is why we call it conflict, because it’s messy, confusing and it’s about two people not being able to agree, sometimes even with what the exact conflict is over. During a girl’s dinner recently, I was asked why I thought my friend was still angry at her boyfriend and we sat there trying to work it out. I always over analyse, this time looking and explaining the ice berg structure of arguments to my friend where you are arguing about something on the surface but are not aware of what’s going on underneath. But even the iceberg theory (drawn on a napkin) was not enough to solve my friend’s anger and confusion. Conflict very quickly got simplified for me when watching a 3 year throw a…

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