Find the Gift

Recently I met someone who was telling me a story about a friend whose daughter recently had a baby and was then killed in a tragic car accident whilst living overseas. After this, they had a breakdown and sought help where a therapist starting asking them – but where is the gift? Have you been over to see your granddaughter? She pointed out that even though this loss was tragic, he was able to spend so many years with his daughter when many do not and now she had given him a granddaughter. Two days later he was a plane to see the baby. When I look around, it seems that we have become a society that is only able to focus on what didn’t go right instead of what did. We focus so much on the negatives that any positives can’t be seen. Maybe we have social media to…

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Man UP

Recently I went to watch my cousin in a boxing match. He had enrolled into a 10-week challenge called “how to be a man”. I noticed that throughout the match, the organiser kept referring to the phrase “how to be a man” and at one stage even encouraged other guys who “want to be a man” to give the program a go and get into the ring. If I wasn’t wearing a short skirt that would have guaranteed a flash to the crowd, I would have got in there too! It really got me thinking about the words “be a man” and the backward gender stereotypes and pressure we put on men today. Besides certain genitalia and those don’t even have to be present these days, who gets to decide what traits are “manly”? Recently, a good friend of mine was telling me about an incident that happened at a…

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The Reason Men And Women Deal With Break Ups Differently

Break ups. They’re never fun. The tears, the anger, the messy nights out and the emotional eating are all telltale signs of a heart in torment. So, if men and women are capable of feeling emotional pain when a break up occurs, why is it so hard to understand why he’s ‘being distant’ or she ‘still wants to be friends?’ Well, the reason for this is linked to the social role relationships play and how they feed into our perceptions of self-worth, as well as the fundamental ways men and women deal with the same emotions differently. “Studies have shown that both men and women derive self-esteem from being in a relationship, so both genders suffer a sense of loss and identity conflict when a romantic relationship ends,” psychologist Melanie Schilling told HuffPost Australia. “Interestingly, the research has found that men and women experience different types of loss after a break-up. Generally speaking, men…

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Why Men Fake It

Yesterday morning whilst watching Weekend Sunrise, my attention was grabbed by a segment on a book about why men fake it by Dr Abraham Morgentaler. It would come as no surprise that I am a fan of this content on TV and a big thanks to Sunrise for presenting such a great segment in an educational way. But Dr Morgentaler made some interesting points I wanted to highlight.   The question was raised, “ Can Men actually fake it and do they”. Yes! According to Dr Morgentaler’s research, men fake it to please women and try to be  “good and noble” ( if only all my x boyfriends tried to be good and noble in the bedroom).   So apparently we think they want to be selfish ( experience would back that up for many women). But in actual fact Dr Morgentaler insists that men want to be sexual providers…

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