relationship

Apr
26

2019
Are you dating a guy from Bachelor In Paradise?

My latest obsession is Bachelor in Paradise. It’s like watching real life Tinder play out with the backdrop of Fiji. But besides the drama, chaos, love triangles, squares and every other shape, it’s the representations of men that has me intrigued. Glued this week, I realised there are three main types of men represented on this show. And I’ve dated them all! The Bills, Jules and Ivans of this world. But for the poor girls in paradise, being maybe a bit younger and naïve, they might not be able to see what I see (and what I have learnt). But that doesn’t stop me from sharing it with the rest of you.  (Please note, this is not meant to be disrespectful towards these men, but this is more about how to navigated the obstacles when dating them). Lets start with Bill… If you have not been watching, Bill is the…

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Apr
19

2019
A letter to my virgin self

Nikki, I know right now sex seems like such a huge deal, but one day it will be a part of your everyday life. But it isn’t going to always be pretty and it isn’t going to always be how you imagined it would be. But sex isn’t perfect and you will learn that.  Don’t fret if your first time also isn’t perfect. Most people do not get that roses and candles experiences you once saw on Dawson Creek and decided was the ideal. It’s ok and it’s not the end of the world, although it might feel like it at the time. I know you will want to find the right and perfect moment, but there just might not be such a thing. The most important thing is to trust your gut and protect yourself physically and emotionally. Although I’m sorry to tell you, but protecting yourself emotionally might not…

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Apr
05

2019
Are you responsible for where you are in your relationship right now?

Where you are in your relationship or even relationship status right now is your responsibility. It might sound harsh, but if you can accept that then you can move forward with life and love and have a better chance at actually finding and creating what you want. In relationships, incidences and issues are never isolated one off events, even though sometimes they feel like it and can feel like it’s all the responsibility of someone else. He is being selfish and not spending time with me, she is nagging me all the time, he cheated etc. But every action has a reaction and being with someone means we continue to respond and react to them. Nothing is ever isolated to just one event. A good and controversial example of this is infidelity. When I hear of people cheating, I often wonder what their relationship was really like. This is not…

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Mar
15

2019
Why Do People Cheat?

Infidelity fascinates me. I don’t want to take any pain away from those who have suffered as a consequence, but my fascination is in the ‘why’. People have made theories and even excuses, but when someone cheats, we all seem to jump on the bandwagon and think of them solely in a negative way. When the Ashley Maddison scandal hit, millions of people’s profiles were at risk. Yes, millions! And that’s only considering the people cheating on this one site. Look around you. Think of the people you have in your life. The odds are that at least someone you know, someone you work with or run in the same circles as either has a secret account like this online or is actively cheating. Infidelity is all around us. How many stories do we get told about a spouse cheating? But instead of simply accusing someone of having an evil…

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