I received an email last week before my radio segment asking if I could talk about a Throuple. No it’s not an STI, but a term used to describe a relationship between three people, or in the context that we were talking about on the hot30 countdown, a three way long term relationship between men. This is what I love about my job, just when I think I have heard it all, something new pops up!
I studied non-monogmay for my basic research assignment for my Doctorate, so I was fully aware of the dynamics involved. I wasn’t too sure if this was something new, or just another case of old behaviour being relabelled to give a group more definition. There are so many sub categories under the label of non-mongomy, but identifying yourself as in a throuple tells the world and the rest of society just a little bit more about what is going on.
Having such broad labels can get a little confusing. If you do identify as non-monoagmous, does that mean you go to parties and have sex with other people or have a boyfriend or girlfriend on the side or live with a third person? What it is that you do and what it is that other people think you do can be very different based on the broadness and lack of definition to your identified label. It is important that we keep creating these smaller sub categories to be able to give our lifestyles a little more description and a little less confusion and assumption. Instead of having to explain in a long sentence, ” Hi I am a gay man and I live in a polyamours relationship with two other men”, why not be able to simplify, ” I am in a Throuple”.
It is just like the term pegging. Pegging is the act of a straight women anally penetrating a straight man with a strap on or other device. I won’t get into this one too much now because it is one of my new favourite topics and does need a lot more explanation and it’s own blog post. But it just goes to show what I am talking about with labels, they can be confusing unless defined accordingly. If a straight women declares she likes anal sex, what does that mean? Does she like to receive anal sex? And if a man says he enjoys anal sex does that mean he enjoys anally penetrating a women or a man and is he gay? By giving the label of pegging, it automatically clears up what is it that is going on (and takes a lot less time to say , straight women anally penetrating a straight man up the ass). I do know I probably have confused most people in that paragraph, so please stay tuned for more information about pegging.
So back to our Throuple. I could go on and on about how this works, what are some benefits and how we should choose what type of relationship we want to be in these days based on our needs and desire not on old social values. But I thought it would be best to let you think about this one for a while and leave it up to Justin, Mickey and Max to show you what it is really all about. And for the record, just like sex, relationships are unique to the individual and we all choose and have the freedom to live our lives the way we want. When nearly 50% of all married couples who are living a “traditional” relationship are getting divorced, if someone living in a alternate and possibly controversial relationship is happy, than I don’t have a problem. Happiness is important in life and I wish more people had the guts to go out and find it.