Whenever my boyfriend goes out for a boy’s night I find myself getting jealous and sending silly text messages wanting to know what’s going on. I hate being this girl but I feel like I turn into a bit of a crazy when he is out with the boys. How do I stop being like this?
You need to ask yourself what it is that you are worried about specifically? Is it cheating? Or just flirting and inappropriate behaviour? Often when guys go out on a boy’s night, some woman can conjure up these ideas of what it really means and what is going on. When in fact it’s not that at all. Boys night could just mean the guys going out for a catch up and drinks not strippers and hooker like some might think.
It might not mean that you don’t trust him, but just that your mind might be going somewhere it doesn’t need to be. It’s important to work out what it is your are worried about and where that is coming from.
Has he done something in the past to make you think he is not trustworthy? You need to work out exactly what it is that is making you feel this way and explore a way to ensure you feel secure when he does go out. It shouldn’t be a matter of stopping him from a boy’s night if he isn’t doing anything wrong, but you might need to get some help from him so you are not left feeling this way.
Have you met his friends? Would it help if you went along for a night out and got to know them? Do you need him just to touch base a few times when he is out? Ask yourself what will put your mind at ease after you have discovered what it is that is setting it off.
It’s also important to look at the frequency of boy’s night. If it’s something that is done every so often or there is a regular set time, then it’s good for guys to catch up for a drink and a chat. It doesn’t mean they are bitching about you, but just think if you would want him around when you are having a catch up with a group of girls and how the conversation would be. If he is spending more time with the boys than with you, then this could be a problem and a balance needs to be had.
It’s not the end of the world for you to feel this way but great that you have recognised that you don’t want to be this person anymore. That is often the first step to working out issues like this.