I’m bad at breaking up with people. I hate the idea of hurting someone or letting them down. I have heard of the terms ghosting and breadcrumbing. Do you think either of these are acceptable today when dating?
Ghosting and breadcrumbing have gotten a bad reputation but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use them. Let’s face it, many people are. I don’t think anyone is good at breaking up with people. It’s not always a nice thing to do but it is important to try and be as respectful as you can (as long as that person deserves your respect). You never know when someone will come into your life again and I think if you can be as nice and civil as possible why not.
How to breakup with someone really depends on how serious and long the relationship has been. If it has been more serious and longer than a few weeks, then at least a catch up in person should be attempted. But if it’s just been casual and a bit of fun, then a nice text or call might just do.
But breadcrumbing can be useful if the situation is not so straight forward, you don’t want to hurt the person or feel they have to be let down slowly. However, If they start to ask you things like “is everything ok” or “are we ok”, don’t continue to lead them on. The breadcrumbing should come to an end.
With breaking up, it’s always best to be as respectful as you can, but if you are feeling awkward, own that emotion. Tell the person that you have never been good at this and you feel really awkward but…. It might excuse your approach if you are not getting it right.
There is not always a straight out right or wrong when it comes to dating and breakups, but you need to do the best you can and consider what the person on the other side might feel.