As a woman in my 20s, i was once told by a close family friend that I was not allowed to get married until after I had turned 32. She told me that woman reaching 30 start to freak out about that number and feel the need to settle down because of it. She recommended getting over the hump of 30 and settling into these years to have a clear mind and make the right choices. I had a small freak out leading up to my 30th Birthday. I froze my eggs at 29 thinking that might help, but it didn’t save me from dating a series of “nice guys” on paper and trying to make it work in the lead up to my Birthday. I actually remember saying to myself with one guy I was dating, “Nikki, you have had a lot of fun, he is a nice guy, why not just try and settle down for a while.” WTF? Happy I gave myself a quick kick of reality soon after that.
But it seems that Kim Kardashian might have proven this theory right, recently coming out on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live on Sunday night, confessing she knew on the honeymoon her marriage to Kris Humphries wouldn’t work out. She admitted that she panicked after turning 30, when she realised all her friends were getting married and having children. She explains, “Holy shit, I’m 30 years old, I better get this together, I better get married.”
It’s not just Kim K that goes through this but so many other woman out there. And it might not even be 30, it could be even younger than that. Some women grow up with the fairytale in their head, think they need a man for life to be fulfilling, have cultural or religious expectations and beliefs or just like most of us out there, think 30 is some defining age at which your chances for marriage and children start to decrease. Women of today that are rushing to say “I do”, my advice to you is to chill the fu*ck out! Slow down for just one moment and look at the person you are trying to be or in a relationship with. Are they Mr Right or Mr Right Now? Do you feel that there is this loud clock ticking in your head? To make the right decision, you need to do it from a place of calm sanity not rushing in order to secure that man.
And if you are really concerned about that tick tock, why not freeze your egg? It’s not a full proof plan but it does help your biological clock and your state of mind. I might have had a small freak out turning 30, but I didn’t go and marry the closets guy I was dating. I got through it because I knew I had more options than to just wed any “nice guys” in my life at the time.
We need to calm down, not only to make the right decision but to also enjoy the life we currently have. Single, married or somewhere in between.