A sexologist reveals the 6 things to make or break your relationship over summer
One of them is pictured – can you guess?
Have you ever found your relationship suffering over the festive season and wondered why? Isn’t this supposed to be a time of joy? There are various factors that might be playing havoc with your love life that you need to consider before you hit the silly season.
1. Alcohol
A few drinks can help you get into the mood and assist you to relax, but let’s face it, who stops at just a few over the festive season? Alcohol can have a negative impact on the best of days, but add in a pinch of stress and chaos and it’s a recipe for fire. Before you have a boozy night out, consider first where your relationship is at. If there’s already tension, you might want to stop after a few, otherwise things could be said that cannot be taken back. While letting your hair down over the holidays might be a rite of passage, it’s worth considering the impact this might have on your ability to hide underlying thoughts or feelings about issues that are going on.
2. Social media
Ready for FOMO 2.0? This festive season, social media is going to give it to you. Consider how scrolling through other’s false projections of life might make you feel? Do you sometimes look at certain people and think if only my life was like theirs? Do you look at others relfies (relationship selfies) and wonder why your relationship does not look like you think it should? Over the festive season, think about tuning out a little more and focus on what’s going on in your life instead of in others. It’s worth remembering that you’ll rarely see family feuds and tensions on someone’s Insta feed. No matter how perfect someone’s Christmas day might look, there is always more than meets the eye.
3. The heat
Being down under has its advantages over the Christmas period, and as much as prawns on the barbie taste great, hot sticky nights and the pressure for a beach bod doesn’t do us any favours. For those who suffer in the heat, being touched might be off the cards. If you are pulling away from physical affection, make sure you explore intimacy in non-physical ways or invest in some strong ceiling fans and aircon. It might seem small, but that lack of touch can affect a connection between two people. If your sense of self is struggling because you think you didn’t get your bikini body ready in time, consider about what a bikini body really is… putting on a bikini.
4. The pressure to be happy
If you can’t stand the image of happy families and attractive looking mums and dad’s running along the beach with a ham in one hand and a kid in the other, then don’t turn on the TV. When we explore FOMO, social media is not the only thing to blame. We are pushed this image over Christmas of the perfect happy family when in reality, most people are feeling stressed. The irony is that when we stop putting pressure on ourselves and our relationship to be perfect, we end up enjoying them more. Don’t strive for perfection, just focus on enjoying what you do have, chaos and all.
5. A full social calendar
Every festive season the social calendar becomes jam packed. While it’s great to spend time with family and friends, it seems that time for yourself and your partner becomes the last on the list. Time these days feels like a luxury, but it’s important to sneak away for some you and we time whenever you can.
6. Reflections
Coming towards the end of the year can play tricks on our mind. We hear things about the year that has been and talk about our goals for the future. We are however only talking about the next day, but in our minds, we take time to reflect on the year that has passed. Be careful about what this can do to you. Did you not hit your goals and are feeling like a failure? Are you wanting to focus on your relationship next year because you were not happy during this one?
