Does couples therapy mean it’s all but over?

Recently on the podcast Sweet Spot, we were discussing the upcoming relationship show on Channel 9’s, The Last Resort, where couples undergo therapy on an island to try and save their relationships. But the question was raised if relationship therapy actually works or does it mean there are red flags and it’s all but over.

I’m thrilled to see a show that doesn’t have a twist or experiment and is shining light on the importance of getting help, but I was also a bit shocked that this question was being asked.

The real problem with therapy is that we don’t get it soon enough, not that it’s a red flag and maybe the relationship isn’t right. And this is part of the negative belief that stops people from going. There is this stigma with couples counselling that everyone else gets it right and you might be the ones that are failing and need help. But there is nothing to be ashamed of, quite the opposite. It takes strength to put up your hand up and say as a couple you need some assistance. No one teaches us how to be in a relationship or how to survive through the obstacles that life brings. We only have to look at the divorce rate to see how well we are succeeding in marriage these days. So, is the problem getting couples therapy or not getting it soon enough?

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell recently came out and revealed they started going to therapy early on in their relationship and it’s what keeps them together. Dax said, “We went to therapy early on to learn what our pattern of arguing was and where we needed to stop that.”

Therapy isn’t just when you are at breaking point, it’s to also help you along the way. And if more couples sought help sooner, maybe they wouldn’t get to breaking point.

But if you are at breaking point, as it would seem the couples are on The Last Resort, wouldn’t you want to do everything you can to save that relationship and get all the help you could? And if you don’t, then the future of the relationship has been easily decided for you.

The issue is not that if you need help in your relationships that maybe it’s over, rather why we still have so many stigmas to getting help in general.

Couples like Dax and Kristen and shows like ‘The Last Resort’ can only help take some of the negativity away.