Everyone woman struggles at some point with body confidence.
Rather than seeing it as such an issue, I think we might be better off seeing it as a norm. I know some of the most beautiful people who have their bad periods. Everyone goes through it, just some more than others.
I have been open in the past about my own body battles and my love/hate relationship with my body and health. But there is a new issue I’m seeing amongst woman these days – the pressure too be sexy and the criticism of crossing that invisible line.
It’s a bit of a catch 22. There is more pressure these days to flaunt flesh, have that sexy pout, those sexy lashes, sexy hair and a sexy booty. Sexy is the new beautiful. Where we once worshiped princess like female role models and wanted to emulated them, it’s now a Kardashian that so many woman want to look like (and there is a difference).
But then it can work against a woman. If you are too sexy you are called names (I refuse to even type them), given the label of insecure because you feel the need to flaunt yourself (which can be the case in some situations), superficial or receive sexual comments from others because you supposedly asked for it with your sex appeal.
Then there is the alpha strong and smart woman who is taking over the world. She is also pressured to have a sexier side. Women taking on the glass ceiling have a certain sex appeal and glamour which is being celebrated. Not only do you have to have brains but sex appeal too.
But what even is a sexy look? The word sexy once described something that was done or an appearance to entice someone, possibly into bed. Hence the use of sex in the word. Now it just seems to be used for everything. Sexy is the new everything.
When I first started off as a Sexologist, I felt like I had to work the opposite to sexy. When your job title has the word sex in it, it’s as though you need to balance out your appearance so it’s not too sexy (and this maybe didn’t help with the addition of a decent bust size). I wore jackets to cover myself up on TV and never took any opportunity to flaunt flesh (except for a breast cancer campaign).
But as I get older, I become not only more comfortable with my body but also showing my sexier side. Since we can’t universally define what sexy is, it’s up to you how you want to express yourself in this way. How you feel, what look you want to achieve and how you want others to perceive you.
Recently, I had new head shots taken and decided in one of the shots to show a bit more flesh and go for a sexier feel. Nothing too over the top, but there wasn’t a jacket in sight. I’m not sitting behind a desk or seeing clients, so why not? I felt I wanted to be a bit more me instead of what I thought I should be (smart but sexy in a jacket and my more corporate best).
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with these photos or where I would use them. When you are a Sexologist you do have to be careful what images you use on social media and in press releases. But you also have to get to a stage where you are able to say – this is me and this is how I choose to express myself and it’s out of a healthy frame of mind. This is the biggest challenge with flaunting a sexier side. You need to challenge yourself to decide if you are doing it because it’s how you want to express yourself or because you think you have to or feel you will be validated for doing so.
These days the word feminism gets used in order for woman to make choices and sometimes those choices include flaunting flesh. I don’t have a problem with this as long as it comes from the right place and someone has challenged why they made that decision in the first place. Unfortunately though so many don’t understand this and use feminism rather as an excuse to flaunt flesh.
So my choice is to share my new sexy shots on here – in the safety of my own blog. To be looking sexy is having the confidence to look the way you want to and what feels sexy to you and this is exactly how I wanted my shots to be.