Before I got together with my now partner I was dating and often engaging in casual sex. I enjoyed myself and feel it was important to getting where I am now and even being in the relationship I’m in, however the thought of me having been with anyone else tends to not sit well with him. How do I make my partner ok with my past?
I think you need to consider that maybe your partner doesn’t have to be ok with your past, just ok that you have had one. We all have a past and the past makes us who we are in the present. But it doesn’t mean that every detail of your past needs to be explained or defended.
Think of this as not focusing on the past and instead looking forward. Remember your past and where you came from, but when it comes to your partner, focus on the future you have.
There are some people who are just so secure with themselves that they don’t mind knowing every detail of their partner’s sexual past, but there are others who just don’t want to know. It’s not a bad thing and can be quite the opposite. When you are truly intimate with someone and connected to them, you might not want to think about someone else having been there before you, and that’s ok. It’s just what they do with those emotions. Sometimes you just need to welcome them in, acknowledge that they are there and then move on.
If your partner is acting out or being jealous over past partners, then this might be a problem that needs to be addressed. But if something does come up, reassure him that he has you now. If he asks questions, don’t give him the answers as he might think he wants to know but then can never not hear what is told back. Just reassure him of the facts – you had a past but he is your future.