How To Tell If Polyamorous Relationships Are Right For You | ASK DR NIKKI

“My best friend is asking me to have sex with her husband. She is on medication and has a non-existent sex drive.

I am single. We do a lot of family stuff together since our kids are the same age. She even sends me articles about polyamory. Any advice would be helpful.”


The part of this situation that I wish I knew is how do you feel about it. Now, this might sound a bit odd to some people. This might even sound a bit odd to you Sally, but don’t ever judge somebody for what their sexual desires are. We all have a unique and different way of constructing a relationship.

I would nearly say this is flattering that obviously, there is enough trust there which is recognized. If she doesn’t have a sex drive towards her partner anymore and her partner still desires sex, then maybe being able to form some sort of relationship with you might be a great idea.

It doesn’t mean that it’s going to be, but this is how she sees the scenario. Maybe her husband does fancy you or has said something. You need to think about how you feel in this situation. Are you attracted to her husband? Do you feel that this is something that you could do? How would you feel about being in a polyamorous relationship and having her as a friend but having a relationship with her husband?

If you are tempted to go there, you need to think about what happens if this goes wrong. There are no guarantees in life, people can get jealous. Things can happen and we need to think about that before we enter into relationships like this because if the relationship does go wrong between you and her, or you and her husband, is this a friendship that you will miss? What will happen to these family times where you’re all spending time with the kids and doing lovely things together? Is it worth risking that? That’s something that you need to think about. Is there a desire and is this something you could see yourself doing? If you can, how valuable is the friendship to you and is it worth risking?

I wish you all the best on this journey. It sounds like a very interesting and possibly even exciting one.


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