I left my husband 2 months ago. I had been checked out of the relationship for quite some time but just needed to find the courage to say the words. We hardly talk and don’t have any sort of friendship, quite the opposite. I have met someone who I know there is a connection with but friends have been telling me it’s too soon or that I’m still legally married so I shouldn’t. But I have not felt married for a long time and I don’t see why I should be monogamous to someone who hates me. When is the right time to move on?
The relationship is over when you say it’s over, no matter what paperwork there is. Entering a marriage and singing a piece of paper for some is a friendship recognised by the police. It’s legal stuff but does not control your heart or your mind. When you separate, there is a lot to go through to be able to say you are on paper divorced. This gives some people time to separate and work out if they want to give it another shot and others time to sort out custody and finances. But the moment you got the courage to end the relationships, it was over and you are free to do as you want.
Everyone is going to have an opinion as to whether moving on is too soon. It is very backwards thinking for your friends to say just because you are legally still married that you shouldn’t. Do they also think that someone who is divorced is ruined goods and can’t marry into the royal family? For some couples who are still friendly and want to separate to see if they can work things out, then moving on during this time might feel inappropriate. But if you are using the word hate than I’m assuming it is not the case with you nor should you consider your ex when it comes to finding someone else.
You need to do what is right for you, not what others say is right. There is no set in stone time when it’s right or not to move on but only you can decide. Even if others have a differing opinion, you need to know what is right for you and support yourself on the decision you have made.
Remember, your current marriage status is a piece of paper but being in a relationships with someone is a choice. Just because you are legally married does not mean you heart is not free to move on.