My partner doesn’t want me to use a vibrator. What should i do?

I have always been the girl that enjoyed using a vibrator (and own a few). My new partner however is very backward in his thinking about this and doesn’t want me using one. I feel conflicted because I love my partner but I also enjoy using a vibrator. Do I have to give it up or is there a way I can talk him around?

You don’t have to give it up but you might have a bit of a battle on your hands to get there. First be careful not to be too aggressive with how you push this one on him. It sounds like he has some old-fashioned views on this and it might take some time for him to come around.

You need to find out why he doesn’t want you to use one. That will help you with the information you deliver to him. Again, not doing this in an aggressive or defensive way but an informative one. Does he think it’s competition? That you need it and won’t need him?

If this is the case, discuss with him how you have an orgasm. Are you a clitoral person and hence need a vibrator? Do you need something extra for a g spot orgasms or do you just enjoy every so often using one during self-pleasure? You need to reassure him that this is not a replacement and love having sex with him as is but this can make the experience more enjoyable.

If you haven’t had the chance, you might need to show this to him. Instead of hiding your vibrator use away from him, let him have the control. Put it in his hand and guide him what you want him to do. Let him feel as though he is doing this to you with the vibrator not the vibrator doing it to you with him not involved.

It might take some time and some myth busting, but be patient and reassure him that you love having sex with him but also enjoy using a vibrator and that there is nothing wrong with that. You can even say, “Dr Nikki said so.”