Q: He’s awful at oral, how do I help?

A: Good oral sex is an art. It doesn’t mean it’s all doom and gloom if your partner isn’t getting it right though. Like with many sexual acts, many are not innate and sometimes we need to be taught or be the teacher. First things first. When you are going to suggest any improvements to the bedroom, make sure you reassure your partner of your attraction to them and you enjoyment of the physical side of the relationships. You can try two ways, the non verbal and the verbal.

Try the subtle non verbal hints first. When he hits the right spot verbally reward him and let him know you enjoy it with a moan or groan. You might also want to use your hands sliding them in on the action and seductively moving his mouth or your body parts around to show him with the spot is.

As it’s also not just about hitting the right spot but your preferred technique, non verbal cues might need to be assisted by some verbal suggestions. Don’t be afraid to say what feels good for you, he will probably appreciate the feedback. If he gets offended at any time remind him that every person is different. Your desires and preferences might be different to the others he has been with previously.

– Dr Nikki G

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