Q: How do i slow my mind during sex?

A: It can be difficult to shut off your mind from the daily stressors that occur and focus on sex. It might be thoughts of what you need to do, what has happened or insecurities that could arise in the bedroom. For woman this might see them become distracted, get caught in their heads and not be able to either enjoy the moment or achieve orgasm. For a man this could impact his erections and ability also to orgasm. So what do you do? Anything to slow your mind is the simple solution.

1. Do something relaxing before. You might want to sit down with your partner and have a glass of wine, enjoy a shower or bath together. Anything that gives a break between your hectic day and your bedroom activities and gives you a chance to unwind.

2. Foreplay. Either spend longer here or just have it in general. Sometimes especially for woman it take times for them to warm up into the moment and hence why foreplay is really a must. Touching and caressing can help her to switch her pattern of thought to what needs to be done around the house to what is being done to me.

3. Breathing. I know it’s sound obvious but practicing some simple breathing exercises before and even during sex can help slow the mind and refocus.

4. Focus on what is going on. It sounds straightforward but this is the problem in the first place. If you find your mind wondering try and think about what it is that is going on. Talk to yourself about what is taking place. Talk yourself through the exact actions and how it feels. This will help not only slow your mind but also once again refocus it and even turn it on.

5. If there is something on your mind that you just can’t move away from don’t. If something has happened in your day or there is an issue in the relationships that you just can’t put aside, maybe you need to stop, address it and clear your mind so you can move on. And if things do get a bit heated – you know what you can do to make up…