Q: Is it normal for our sex drive to decrease after the wedding?

A: At some stage in a relationship it is normal for the amount of sex to decline. You settle in, need more sleep and know after time that the person next to you in the bed hopefully always will be there, so what’s the rush if you have a headache that night? It’s not to say that I agree with how this flows, but it is a common situation. The wedding can be a bit of trigger point. Our sex lives sometimes tend to live up to the sexpectations of others. You feel that because you are madly in love that the thing to do is to be at it like rabbits. But I think people should be more concerned with the type of sex they are having rather than the frequency. You can have sex 4 times a day but if it’s not satisfying or completely fulfilling where does that leave you? With a bad back still wanting more?

When you say, “ I do” there is the possibility that the idea of “this person will be there forever so what’s the rush” kicks in. It hopefully wont’ be on your honeymoon or in the few months after, but eventually it just might happen. Don’t be scared of it and don’t feel as though things are heading down hill. Sex is important in a relationships but it is important to connect, be intimate and feel pleasure with your partner. If the frequency of sex starts to decline, take this as a chance to explore what type of sex you and your partner really want to have either to bring it back up or to enjoy more the sex you do have. Maybe there are others ways you achieve intimacy and pleasure with your partner other than penetration.

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