Q: What are some of your masturbation tips for women?

A: You need to remember that when it comes to self pleasure and masturbation (I prefer to use the word self pleasure as I feel it has no limits) there are no rules. Whatever feels good for you is how you do it but it might take some time to discover what that is. But hopefully you have some fun trying to do it. Here are ten tips to help you along the way.

1. Make sure you relax your mind. You might find that thinking about something sexual that turns you on helps, or looking at porn or even reading an erotic novel. Some people find that stopping their mind altogether helps to focus more on the physical sensations of what’s going on. If that’s the case playing music can help.

2. Don’t rush. Times might not always be your friend but try not to put a limit to your self-pleasuring session. It could be unnecessary pressure on you and see you getting caught up in your mind instead of your body.

3. Touch other areas of your body as well as your genitals. Often people think that masturbation is just about stimulating the g-spot and the clitoris. Why not incorporate some touching first or during. Run your hands over your body, focusing on the areas that feel good.

4. Incorporate a dildo, clitoral or g-spot vibe. Many woman say they can’t reach orgasm unless they use one of these which is very normal.

5. Even though the aim of the game might be to have an orgasm, it doesn’t mean you have failed if you don’t get there. Don’t put the pressure of yourself. If it feels good it feels good, orgasm or not.

6. Incorporate your anus. Yes I’m just going to say it. Simulating your anus with a finger or a dildo can be extremely pleasurable. This is also a way to get used to the sensation and associate positive feeling with it if you are struggling to either have or enjoy anal sex.

7. Use lubricant (especially if you are exploring anal stimulation) It can feel nice to use lube if you are just using fingers and also an adult product.

8. You might want to consider putting a towel next to or on the bed. Many women are capable of female ejaculation and squirting but as the sensation can be similar to the urge to pee they hold it in. Those who are able to expel fluid might also stop themselves out of fear of messing the bed. Put a towel down, relax and let it be.

9. Go again. The benefits of being a woman is that we can keep going. If one orgasm it not enough or you feel there is more in the tank, why not. Your body might be a bit sensitive after round one and you this can work for you and against you. As we stimulate the genitals, blood rises to the surface making the area more sensitive which can help round two feel more intense but also too intense. If you are feeling as though things are too sensitive, slow it down, use a lesser speed on your vibe and also a bit more lube.

10. Do it in front of your partner. It’s not only important to feel comfortable and show your partner that you have control over your sexual pleasure but also show them how you like it done. This is a way to communicate your preferences for being touched.