With 2018 on the horizon, many are taking stock and planning lifestyle changes for the New Year.
And although it may not receive a mention around the family dinner table, spicing things up in the bedroom is set to make the list for some.
Here to tell you how is sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein from the Sex and Life podcast, who has revealed to FEMAIL her six top tips to help your sex life in 2018.
1. RESOLVE CONFLICT
Before working on anything in the bedroom with your partner, harmony needs to be achieved outside of it, Dr Goldstein said.
She added: ‘If you are stuck on issues, you’re not going to want to work on things in the bedroom.
‘If we go with the theory that the brain is the biggest sexual organ – which I believe is true, especially for woman – holding onto a grudge or feelings of resentment because of something a partner did or didn’t do can really affect sexual connection.’
Dr Goldstein said improvement will ‘organically flow’ into the bedroom if conflicts are resolved, as couples begin to feel more connected and in love.
2. IMPROVE SATISFACTION IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Dr Goldstein said couples should assess the overall level of satisfaction in their relationship and what they can do to improve excitement within it.
Increasing the amount of date nights, spontaneous acts of generosity and even gift-giving can improve relationship satisfaction.
Subsequently, the level of arousal for each other will increase and lead to a positive effect in the bedroom, Dr Goldstein said.
3. TALK ABOUT YOUR DESIRES SEDUCTIVELY
Individuals have a tendency to review their sex life with their partner in the style of an unemotional report, Dr Goldstein said.
She added: ‘We may often talk about sex with our partner, but we don’t know how to do it properly.’
Listing what desires are going unfulfilled can make partners feel defeated and have a negative effect on intimacy.
‘Instead, discuss your desires but in a seductive manner,’ Dr Goldstein said.
‘Say things like: “It would really turn me on if we did this”, or “I had this fantasy and I would really like to explore it with you”.’
4. ENGAGE IN MORE FOREPLAY
While men may be ready in an instant, women take longer to warm up to the thought of having sex, Dr Goldstein explained.
Men in heterosexual relationships need to be aware of this and act accordingly to ensure a more pleasurable experience for both parties.
‘More foreplay helps switch on the brain, but also increases blood-flow to the genitals which makes sex feel better,’ Dr Goldstein said.
5. USE MORE LUBRICANT
And for when the time finally comes – use more lube, Dr Goldstein recommended.
‘We are increasingly looking at longer, harder and faster as our aim,’ she said.
‘Whether that’s right or not, people are doing it, and so you don’t want someone to get in an uncomfortable position and reach for the bottle when it’s too late.’
6. DITCH THE OLD ROUTINE
‘This step is about trying something different because we tend to get into behavioural patterns,’ Dr Goldstein said.
Using a sex toy, trying a new position or having sex in a different room are among the variations couples can use to try and spice things up.
Dr Goldstein added: ‘If you look at the definition of ‘kinky’, it’s something different or unusual. It doesn’t have to involve a whip.’