Q: Why don’t I orgasm during sex and what can I do?
A: It’s really common that woman can’t achieve orgasm during sex. It doesn’t mean it’s not possible, it’s just not as possible as Hollywood movies and porn flicks tell us it is. As much as 80% of woman have clitoral orgasms and the clitoral is not something so easily stimulated during penetration sex. Think of this more of a mismatch between what we are taught about orgasms and our biological makeup (if only our clitoris was at the entrance into the vagina….).
So of that 80% of woman who achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, are they also able to orgasm from g-spot. Some say yes, others say no. I say anything is possible if you put your mind to it. I don’t think it’s a matter of if you have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation you can’t also through your g-spot but more that the clitoral orgasms are easier so it will be the go to when wanting the “Big O”. If there was two ways to get to the end destination and one was longer and more difficult, wouldn’t you always pick the easier way too?
So if you do want to do it Hollywood style and orgasm during penetration is the goal, you could try a few things; –
- Position where your partner is able to stimulate the clitoral at the same time either with their finger or a small vibrator. Some of my suggestions are doggy, with him reaching around you, lying side by side with your legs slightly open and cowgirl with you straddling him on top.
- Use a couples toy. There are various products that are on the market such as the we-vibe where a toy is insert that stimulate your g-spot and clitoris with him in there as well ( sounds a lot but it does fit).
- Have an orgasm before you engage in penetration sex. When you have an orgasm the blood rises to the surface making the skin more sensitive and hence increasing your chances at having an orgasm if you are engaging in moves from point number 1. And if you don’t achieve an orgasm again at least you have already had one and might not get as stressed about it.
Now for how to orgasm from s-pot stimulation if you are a clitoral girl…well that’s for another day
– Dr Nikki G
