Why I’m Attending A Porn Conference?
Why the AVNs? ( A big porn conference in Vegas). I have always been fascinated by the porn world, the industry that is. Over the years, starting off in my early career working at Sexpo, I have the privilege of getting to know some of the industry’s biggest names. But I was pleasantly surprised by what I got to see. I remember writing my first piece on porn stars and it was titled, “porn stars are people too.” I think we all have this idea and stereotype of what a porn star should be. But with the exception of a few, mostly they are normal average people who are in touch with their sexuality. (Please note, I hate using the world normal in sentences like this as what is normal anyway? But for the purpose of trying to prove my point in regards to porn stars and how many people think they are not normal, I felt it was the better word to use).
I remember first getting close to a famous and back then controversial star. I found her down at Darling Harbour during one Sexpo wearing a hoodie to try and disguise her identity eating alone at a restaurant. I joined her and as we talked about everything from family and of course sex, I immediately forgot what she did for a living and just got to see her as this great personal I was having such a wonderful chat with.
The next day a friend confessed to me he was a fan and I offered to introduce him. He later called me after inviting him to the after party and said, “I’m going to fuck her.” It was vulgar and as though she didn’t have a choice in the matter. This is one of the biggest myths. Just because someone has sex on screen does not mean they just have sex with anything that moves. It’s a business. Do you go giving your products or services for free? I got so mad at him because what he didn’t know was that she was on holidays in Australia with her husband and child. Porn stars are people too with real lives just like you.
On making some great friendships, I was able to attend the AVN’s two years ago. It was fascinating, eye opening but once again I was able to see that this industry is really just a big lucrative business and one that cashes in on a natural desire to watch and see sex. Think about it, the business is here because of the demand for it and do you ever hear about it suffering? It might be changing but not becoming any less popular.
What amazes me is how there are so many people out there that blame porn for everything, say how bad it is, won’t cover it in the main stream and feel any association with it is harmful. But how many people do you think watch porn? How many of these people do you think watch porn (cough, hypocrite).
So many people fear porn and blame it for relationships issue because they don’t understand it. They point the figure at porn for role modelling negative behaviours towards teens but do teens copy porn because porn tells them to or because we don’t have enough adequate sex education to tell them the difference between porn sex and real sex? Do they fulfil their thirst for knowledge on this subject with porn because we don’t teach them enough? What’s the real problem? That porn exists or that we don’t have enough sex education and have enough real conversations about sex? Is porn the real problem?
I can’t say that the industry is perfect, but no industry is. But I also believe that we shouldn’t be blaming it for all the things that we do. After all, it is just sex. I have more concerns with people watching, violence, murder and car crash scenes in movies (often with no consequences or regard for human life) than two or three or four consensual adults engaging in sexual fantasies.
Porn is not perfect, but there are so many myths and misunderstandings about it that make it feel and sound worse. Over the next week I hope to bust some more myths and stereotypes about the industry so you can better understand how it all works.
And if there is something you want to know, a question you want asked or a person you want me to go and find, head to my facebook page Dr Nikki Goldstein and send me a direct message with what that is.
Happy AVN week!
